Kaitee's Poems

by Kaitee
(Bardfest 5111)
You see Lady Kaittee the Master Healer.
She appears to be a Sylvankind.
She is shorter than average and appears to be in the prime of life.  She has luxuriously thick-lashed viridian eyes and fair skin.  She has long, soft deep red hair that falls gracefully over her shoulders.  She has a round face, a small nose and slightly upswept pointed ears.  She has softly-contoured, plump lips naturally tinged a rosy pink.
She has a collared fluffy bunny tattoo on her waist.
She is in good shape.
She is wearing a delicate collar of silver-caged princess-cut diamonds, a shimmering moon opal hairpin, a spiraling rose vine wristlet wrought in translucent black glaes set with garnet blossoms, a sideless cardinal velvet gown with long split-sleeves, a delicate silver-clasped handbag, a pair of silver-tipped shoes, and a soft white spidersilk cloak edged with golden silk trim.

Kaittee admits, "I am quite nervous."

Kaittee exclaims, "Here goes!"

Kaittee nervously says, "Good evening everyone.  I have a series of short poems for you tonight."

Kaittee slowly empties her lungs.

Kaittee recites:

    "I have stories, some real and some lies
     Which is which, I will let you decide
     I will share them with you
     In my Bardfest debut
     I have nothing to lose but my pride!"

Kaittee grins sheepishly.

Kaittee recites:

    "Speaking of hurt pride, there once was this boy
     Whose body was one I much did enjoy
     But alas he saw fit
     To get with this twit
     Well of course, I had them destroyed."

Kaittee smiles innocently.

Kaittee flails her arms about.

Kaittee recites:

    "It was not my fault, their untimely demise
     He had it coming!, I rationally surmised
     So boy was I shocked
     When they threw me in stocks
     Apparently murder has been criminalized?!"

Kaittee looks downright miserable.

Kaittee recites:

    "Enough about me, let me tell you one more
     About a young man and a dirty old"

Kaittee coughs.

Kaittee recites:

    "He fell for the lass
     Who gave him a rash
     And medicinal herbs were called for."

Kaittee appears to be trying hard not to grin.

Kaittee blushes a nice shade of light pink.

Kaittee recites:

    "That relates to an infamous man you may know
     Who always has a dozen women in tow
     As for the unwanted rash
     And this may cause a splash
     Well his bed I would likely forgo."

Kaittee recites:

    "If you do not know Jeril then you must be a man
     Because Jeril he *knows* as many women as he can
     When he hears of this it will
     Likely all go downhill
     To outrun him, well that is my plan!"

Kaittee lets out a yelp!

Kaittee pants.

Kaittee looks lost in thought.

Kaittee recites:

    "I have just realized now, and I feel ashamed
     That all of my songs have been mostly the same
     They are murder and sleaze
     Topped with sexual disease
     A warped sense of humor is likely to blame"

Kaittee looks thoughtful for a moment, then shrugs.

Kaittee recites:

    "So I will end with a happy one, one sure to please
     And I promise not a mention of nasty disease
     A clean and pleasant note
     So do not misquote
     Bruised sensibilities I aim to appease"

Kaittee recites:

    "True love exists, sure as the wind shakes the trees
     Even Jeril will find her someday, you will see
     Do not lose hope
     Do not be a sad mope
     One day a girl who will give it for free!"


Kaittee exclaims, "I lied, it was not clean nor pleasant.  Jeril,  please do not hate me!"

Kaittee curtsies.