Ta'Vaalor Gnomes

by Ruabadra
(Bardfest 5111)
Ruabadra slowly empties her lungs.

Ruabadra says, "So I should ask before I start . . ."

Ruabadra asks, "Are there any Vaalorians here?"

Ruabadra asks, "None?"

Ruabadra says, "That's good."

Ruabadra says, "So, before I begin, I'd like to be very clear. This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to history or ongoing gnomish plots to put those meanies in Ta'Vaalor in their place is purely coincidental."

Ruabadra grins impishly.

Ruabadra sings gleefully:

    "Across the Dragonspine divide
      Gnomes traveled from far and wide.
      Lured by a festival they stride
      On the road to Ta'Vaalor."

Ruabadra removes a gnomish maple lyre from in her rabbit fur stole.

Ruabadra skips around in a merry little circle.

Ruabadra sings earnestly:

    "The gnomes were happy and carefree,
      But the poor things just didn t see
      Exactly how cruel an elf can be
      In the walls of Ta'Vaalor."

With a toss of her head, Ruabadra places her hands on her lyre.  Then, with a wink and a grin, she leaps gaily into a jaunty, lighthearted tune.

Ruabadra sings grumpily:

    "Up top their heads the gnomes were knocked.
      Their stature and their language mocked.
      The poor little gnomes were oh so shocked
      By the elves of Ta'Vaalor."

Ruabadra scowls and mutters for a moment, looking rather trod upon.

Ruabadra sings moaningly:

    "Dendum was pinched and Kyna was smacked.
      Dinkidoo and Rydgel's backs were cracked.
      I was killed! Can you believe that?
      Oh, welcome to Ta'Vaalor!"


Ruabadra taps the fingers of her right hand on the soundboard of her lyre, sounding like so many finger snaps while the beat goes on below.
Ruabadra taps the fingers of her right hand on the soundboard of her lyre, sounding like so many finger snaps while the beat goes on below.

Ruabadra sings sourly:

    "The D'henar wanted them to slave,
      The Vaalorians wouldn't even wave.
      The gnomes knew they had to be brave
      Against the elves of Ta'Vaalor."

Ruabadra scowls.

Ruabadra sings rollickingly:

    "With a bit of ale and a lot of mead
      The gnomes chose how to proceed.
      It would be theirs, they agreed
      This place called Ta'Vaalor."


Using syncopated passages and unconventional chords, Ruabadra smiles impishly as she improvises on the jaunty tune.
With the melody continuing in the right hand with very melodic single note lines, Ruabadra deftly changes the lyre's levers with the left and modulates into a new key.

Ruabadra sings boisterously:

    "Over their drinks they hatched a plan
      That would be the bane of every clan
      From the Nalfein to the Lassaran
      Who wandered through Ta'Vaalor."


Ruabadra removes a sapphire-chip inlaid pewter flagon from her belt.

Ruabadra takes a drink from her inlaid pewter flagon.

Ruabadra attaches a sapphire-chip inlaid pewter flagon to her belt.

Ruabadra sings cacophanously:

    "All they needed was forest vine,
      Some extra sturdy fishing line
      And a special Burghal Gnome design
      To punish Ta'Vaalor."

Her phrasing brilliant and different, Ruabadra jaunts her way through several verses, showing off her considerable talent and virtuosity.

Using syncopated passages and unconventional chords, Ruabadra smiles impishly as she improvises on the jaunty tune.

Ruabadra sings confidently:

    "Hidden deep in a secret grove
      All night their little fingers strove,
      And from those forest vines they wove
      The downfall of Ta'Vaalor."

Ruabadra grins mischievously.

Ruabadra sings pompously:

    "The fishing line was tightly strung
      Around the gates, and pits were dug.
      Finally the nets were hung,
      Alas for Ta'Vaalor."

With the melody continuing in the right hand with very melodic single note lines, Ruabadra deftly changes the lyre's levers with the left and modulates into a new key.

Ruabadra plucks staccato notes in the treble then tosses off fleeting notes tumbling down the octaves, sounding like frogs leaping into the pond.

Ruabadra sings proudly:

    "You may know that gnomes have a knack
      For critter sounds from a bark to a quack.
      Or even the shriek of a griffin attack.
      In the walls of Ta'Vaalor."

Ruabadra gives voice to a piercing shriek, sounding exactly like a griffin!

Ruabadra sings resoundingly:

    "With the help of a magic sphere
      The gnomes began to disappear.
      The shrieks of griffins you could hear.
      All around Ta'Vaalor."

Her phrasing brilliant and different, Ruabadra jaunts her way through several verses, showing off her considerable talent and virtuosity.

Ruabadra sings mockingly:

    "In a panic the elven fighters raced
      To defend their city gates
      From the dark and dire straits
      Now upon Ta'Vaalor."

Speaking in Gnomish, Ruabadra says something you don't understand.

Ruabadra removes a small shadowy black crystal sphere from in her rabbit fur stole.

Ruabadra throws a small shadowy black crystal sphere to the ground at her feet, where it explodes in a cloud of billowing black smoke.  The smoke swirls around for a moment before dissipating.  Once it has fully cleared, you notice that she has vanished!

You hear the piercing shriek of a griffin come from somewhere nearby.

Ruabadra fades in from invisibility.

Ruabadra falls to the ground laughing hysterically!

Ruabadra taps the fingers of her right hand on the soundboard of her lyre, sounding like so many finger snaps while the beat goes on below.

Ruabadra sings playfully:

    "But once outside the city wall
       Stead of fighting griffins, proud and tall,
      One by one the defenders fall,
      The pride of Ta'Vaalor."

With a merry grin, Ruabadra plucks an irreverent, puckish, musical thumb-to-the nose statement on her lyre.

Ruabadra sings with jollity:

    "One by one the fighters trip
      On fishing line and over the lip
      They sprawl into the nets in the pits
      All around Ta'Vaalor."

Ruabadra cackles!

Ruabadra sings jubilantly:

    "The gnomes laughed and the gnomes cheered.
      Of elves the city had been cleared.
      Because they had persevered,
      The gnomes owned Ta'Vaalor."

Ruabadra taps the fingers of her right hand on the soundboard of her lyre, sounding like so many finger snaps while the beat goes on below.

Ruabadra sings amusedly:

    "'Now what?' the gnome Gargamish chimed.
      'What will I do now that it's mine?
      Gnimble cried, 'Let's repaint the signs!'
      'In Gnomish in Ta'Vaalor.'"

Ruabadra bounces around happily.

Ruabadra sings cheerfully:

    "After a translator was tied and bound,
      The gnomes yanked all the Elven signs down,
      And erected Gnomish all around town.
      Elves will be lost in Ta'Vaalor."

With the melody continuing in the right hand with very melodic single note lines, Ruabadra deftly changes the lyre's levers with the left and modulates into a new key.

Ruabadra sings edgily:

    "But even in their victory
      The gnomes were not content to be
      Stewards of an elven city,
      Especially Ta'Vaalor."

As Ruabadra turns around, the hem of her satin skirt floats lightly in the air.

Ruabadra sings powerfully:

    "Even once they were in charge,
      It was too stuffy and much too large.
      Even with a festival on the river barge,
      It was still Ta'Vaalor."

Using syncopated passages and unconventional chords, Ruabadra smiles impishly as she improvises on the jaunty tune.

Ruabadra sings teasingly:

    "So the gnomes gave up their elven rule
      Went home to Rest, Landing and of course Mule, Recalling brightly they day the fooled
      The elves of Ta Vaalor. "

With nimble fingers and a flick of the wrist, Ruabadra plucks the last rollicking chords on her lyre, then stills the strings suddenly with both hands.

Ruabadra curtsies.